August 31 2014, 12:53 AM
I’ve been listening to Birdy all evening. I went out in a flash flood warning and bought a build-a-6 cubby thing I’ve purposed as a bookcase. I picked up a light blue ceramic bird and seedling pots for a spring I know will come. I smiled my way through ankle deep road held puddles, found a concerned friend in an anonymous black road runner that circled me as I wrestled my items into my trunk. I laughed because god knows I don’t give a fuck about the weather. Storms make me brave. With a head of heavy curls I went grocery shopping in the downpour. When I got home, I laid my drenched things out in the bathroom room and tossed my hair into a bun so I could play with my little boy Em and I felt like the luckiest human alive.
August 31 2014, 12:44 AM
Jenny Holzer, Lustmord, 1993-1994.
August 31 2014, 12:29 AM
We begin to find and become ourselves when we notice how we are already found, already truly, entirely, wildly, messily, marvelously who we were born to be. The only problem is that there is also so much other stuff, typically fixations with how people perceive us, how to get more of the things that we think will make us happy, and with keeping our weight down. So the real issue is how do we gently stop being who we aren’t? How do we relieve ourselves of the false fronts of people-pleasing and affectation, the obsessive need for power and security, the backpack of old pain, and the psychic Spanx that keeps us smaller and contained?
Here’s how I became myself: mess, failure, mistakes, disappointments, and extensive reading; limbo, indecision, setbacks, addiction, public embarrassment, and endless conversations with my best women friends; the loss of people without whom I could not live, the loss of pets that left me reeling, dizzying betrayals but much greater loyalty, and overall, choosing as my motto William Blake’s line that we are here to learn to endure the beams of love.
August 29 2014, 12:38 PM
LunaDiFerragosto_01 (by ancasta1901)